Whispering Wyrd

Here’s something I’ve considered writing about several times but haven’t actually done so until now. The reason I’ve wanted to write about it is because I really do believe it can help people, just like it’s helped me, a lot.

The reason I’ve hesitated is because of its Zen origins. For whatever reason, some people seem averse to anything that sounds “too Buddhist” or “too Zen.” But I think the possibility of helping somebody out there outweighs that particular concern.

The concept is called Opening the Hand of Thought. It’s helped me let go of painful memories, worries about the future, and all sorts of mental struggles. That doesn’t mean it’s some magical cure all or panacea, because it’s not. It’s just a practice and like any skill it takes time, patience, and practice.

The phrase was popularized by Soto Zen master Kosho Uchiyama. There’s far more to it than I can fit into a single blog post but the basic idea is simple… learning to let go.

If you’re familiar with Soto Zen meditation you probably already know that shikantaza literally means “just sitting.” During this style of meditation you don’t try to force your mind to focus on any particular thing. You don’t try to stop thoughts either. Thoughts come naturally because that’s just what minds do. It’s the mind’s nature to produce thoughts.

Instead, you sit and observe. Thoughts come and go, feelings come and go, and memories come and go. You don’t chase them or fight them. “Opening the hand of thought” refers to this continual process of releasing your grip on whatever appears in your mind. There is a Zen saying that goes something like, “When we suffer, we are holding on to something.” I like that phrase because all of us hold on to stuff sometimes. It’s just part of being human.

Imagine clenching your fist around something sharp. The tighter you squeeze the more it hurts. Over time it digs deeper and deeper into your hand. The pain continues not because the object is attacking you, but because you’re still gripping it so tightly. Relief comes when you loosen your grip and let it fall away.

Our thoughts can be like that too. Painful memories, regrets, worries, fears, resentments, embarrassing moments from twenty years ago. Things people said to us, things we wish had happened differently. Sometimes we hold them so tight that we don’t even realize we’re doing it, and it hurts.

Opening the hand of thought doesn’t mean pretending something never happened. It doesn’t mean trauma isn’t real. And it doesn’t mean depression, anxiety, PTSD, or grief can just be wished away. What it does mean is learning to recognize when we’re gripping something so tight that we’re adding even more suffering to an already painful situation.

For me, this practice has been really helpful. I have some very painful memories from my past. Trauma, addiction, and things I think will probably occasionally haunt me for the rest of my life. There was a time when a flashback or trigger would ruin an entire day for me. Sometimes several days, and I’d feel completely drained afterward.

I can still get triggered because I’m still human, but the difference now is that I notice it much quicker. I catch myself before I spiral too far too fast. I recognize when my mind has grabbed hold of something and refuses to let go. Then I can begin the process of releasing it, opening the hand of thought. Sometimes that happens during meditation and sometimes it happens while I’m walking. Sometimes it happens while I’m standing in line at a store.

The practice isn’t about perfection, it’s just noticing and letting go, over and over again. An imagery that helps me is thinking of the mind like a clear blue sky. Sometimes that sky is covered by clouds. Sometimes those clouds are dark storm clouds. They can block our view completely, but the sky itself hasn’t disappeared. It’s still there behind them.

The same is true of the mind. Sometimes we experience fear, grief, anger, sadness, anxiety, or painful memories. Those experiences can feel very overwhelming. But beneath them there remains a deeper stillness that never left.

Just like clouds in the sky, thoughts and emotions eventually pass. Some pass quickly, others don’t and linger a while. But none of them stay forever and that’s one of the most important lessons I’ve learned.

When I catch myself suffering, now I ask myself, “What am I holding on to right now?” Sometimes the answer is obvious but sometimes it takes a while to see it. But either way, opening the hand of thought has become one of the most valuable tools I’ve ever learned. It hasn’t erased my past and it hasn’t solved every problem in my life. But it has helped me suffer less and that’s no small thing.

If you’re carrying something heavy today, maybe try loosening your grip just a little. You might be surprised by what happens.

Amituofo
~Buck