Whispering Wyrd

Getting ready to move into our new home has brought a lot of choices. What to keep, what to donate, and what to throw away. Some decisions are easy. My books, for example. Those are staying. I don’t care if I’ve already read some of them multiple times. Books can be like old friends, and you don’t just throw old friends away.

Other decisions are harder though. After yesterday’s business of moving related stuff I had a chance to sit down and think a little. It might sound strange but this whole process reminds me a lot of recovery. Both moving and recovery require letting go of some things.

Some things to let go are obvious, like letting go of alcohol and drugs. Without that decision there is no recovery.  But then there are the harder decisions. Sometimes it’s places that need to be left behind. Sometimes it’s habits and sometimes it’s ways of thinking that aren’t healthy for us anymore. And sometimes it’s people.

One of the hard lessons I learned in recovery is that not everybody wants to go where you’re going on your healing journey. Some people are perfectly comfortable with the version of you that was struggling, unhealthy, or easier to manipulate. When you start changing, like making healthier choices and setting strong boundaries, some people get uncomfortable.

A few might even actively resist your recovery. If someone knows you’re trying to stay sober and still offers you drugs or alcohol, they aren’t respecting you or your decision. They might not intend harm, but they’re clearly not helping. At some point protecting your sobriety has to become more important than protecting somebody’s feelings.

Then there are those who just drift away on their own. I’ve had that happen too. Relationships that seemed permanent just faded away as my life changed. At first that kinda hurt. Eventually though I understood that not every relationship is meant to last forever. Some people are part of a chapter and not in the whole story.

These days my life looks a lot different than it used to when I wasn’t sober. I don’t drink and I don’t use drugs. I try to eat healthy foods and I drink tea instead of soft drinks. I walk and exercise every day. My wife and I made the decision to move to a more affordable town here in New Mexico, one that has better access to medical care and is better suited to the stage of life we’re entering now. It’s weird… at sixty years old I still don’t feel like a “senior,” but here we are anyway.

What strikes me most I think is that none of these changes happened all at once. They happened one decision at a time. One choice followed by another. Life is pretty much shaped by choices I think.

Of course there are things that are out of our control. Nobody controls every single thing in their life but there are a lot of things we do control. We control what we feed our bodies, what we feed our minds, who we spend time with, and the direction we choose to go in life.

In a lot of ways, moving and recovery are teaching me the same lessons. Like if you want to make room for something better, sometimes you have to let go of something else.

Wherever you are on your own journey, I hope you’re moving toward health, peace, and the life you truly want to live.

Amituofo
~Buck

Photo Credit: Ty Britt