Whispering Wyrd

My wife and I spent yesterday babysitting our little grandson! This coming Thursday we close on our new home, and after that we start the process of moving in. Just last week we spent the week in Texas visiting our granddaughter. Life is good! And it’s because I’m sober and clean.

While we were driving one day during all this my wife said, “I don’t think all this good stuff would be happening if you were still using alcohol or drugs. I know we wouldn’t be buying a house.” She was right of course. We would still have grandchildren, but we wouldn’t be buying a house and I probably wouldn’t be with them as we traveled between Santa Fe, Albuquerque, Bernalillo, and Texas to visit everybody. I wouldn’t have been able to get up and moving and I would still be in those dark, dark places.

So I’m incredibly grateful to be alive, clean, and sober to be able to experience and enjoy all these blessings. I read a quote a few days ago that went something like, “Getting clean/sober doesn’t open the doors to heaven for you, but it does open the gates of hell and let you out.” I think that’s a pretty fair analysis or comparison. Getting sober doesn’t magically solve all of life’s problems for you, but it does remove the problems that come with using. It also allows one to face other challenges with a clear mind.

I’m writing this today in case somebody out there finds it, somebody who is trying to get clean and sober and wondering if it’s worth it. It is worth it. There’s no question about that. It’s not always easy, and it can be messy, but it’s definitely worth it.

For a while now, I’ve been writing about all the good things in my life because life is amazing for me these days. I’ve never been happier! But I haven’t forgotten what drugs and alcohol stole. I haven’t forgotten how hard it was to get clean and sober. I also haven’t forgotten what benzo withdrawal did to my body and nervous system. I haven’t forgotten any of it. 

But I don’t stay locked in those memories because that would steal from the present. I just felt like I needed to write something for those who might just now be starting out on their sobriety journey, because I’ve seen and heard so many people ask if it’s really worth it.

If you are only now beginning that journey to sobriety, I’m not going to lie and say it’s easy. I don’t think anyone else will, either. But I will tell you that it’s definitely worth it. You may not have any idea how good life can be yet. I know I didn’t.

There will still be hard days. But even the hardest days are better than the “best” days drunk or high. Reach out for help when you need it and get some support. There are whole communities out there willing to help you, and they’ve been through it already so it’s not like they’re just blowing smoke. If you need help right now, this very instant,  you can always connect with the SAMHSA National Helpline for some free and confidential support. 

Wherever you’re at in your recovery, I wish you peace and good health.

Amituofo
~Buck