Whispering Wyrd

I wrote this today because I woke up this morning thinking about some people I knew in the past. People who never made it out of bitterness, anger, even hatred. Some never made it out of addiction too. You don’t have to be young to start over. You can begin again, reinvent yourself, and grow at any age. Nobody is disqualified because of age.

You can learn new things. You can open yourself to new ideas, new experiences, and new ways of living life. None of us can grow beyond who we already are if we stay closed off to change. A lot of times the only things required to become something different, maybe even something better, are willingness and an open mind.

Nobody is disqualified from healing because of age. I know people older than I am, and I’m 60, who made profound changes in their 80s and even their 90s. They changed because they wanted to change. That desire to change is what matters, it’s the secret ingredient.

I’ve also known people who reached old age and even died without ever growing at all. They held onto their anger, bitterness, prejudice, and old resentments until the very end. Some died just as miserably as they lived. That’s one of the saddest things I’ve ever seen.

I’ve known others who couldn’t let go of hatred and destructive ways of life and it led them back to prison again and again. Some died there. Some will die there. Not just because of walls and bars, but because they never escaped the prison inside themselves. And that kind of prison isn’t limited to physical incarceration.

There are people walking free in the world while living inside internal prison/jail cells of bitterness, hopelessness, and fear. They have never been behind bars but they are trapped just the same. But it doesn’t have to stay that way.

I moved with my family to New Mexico and that’s where my own healing started. I got clean after being told it was impossible. I met inspiring people. My wife and sons stood by me through the entire process. I found the courage to explore my own faith, not the faith that was handed to me or the one I was told I had to follow or be damned.

I found healing in the mountains, forests, rivers, and this sacred landscape. I found my voice and a sense of purpose in telling my story and trying to help others wherever I can. I learned to focus on what’s good, because I know how easy it is to become trapped in what’s bad.

There is hope. There is healing. But a person has to want change. A person has to be willing to make the necessary changes. And a person has to have the courage to do it. That courage gets overlooked sometimes.

It takes courage to leave familiar places, familiar crowds, familiar thinking, familiar pain, and even familiar beliefs. Sometimes the familiar feels safer just because it is familiar, even when it’s hurting us.

But this life isn’t repeatable. If you’re stuck in ways that are hurting you, it might be time to make a change. It can be scary, it can be exhilarating, and it can bring setbacks and breakthroughs, rough patches and beautiful ones. But if it leads to healing, it’s worth it.

No matter what your age is, no matter what your past is, and no matter how long you’ve been stuck or addicted, you aren’t too late. You can still start over again.

Amituofo
~Buck