Whispering Wyrd

I can honestly say with certainty that I’ve never been happier in my life than I am right now. And that scares me a little in a strange way.

I’m sober and clean, living in New Mexico, a state I’ve always dreamed of calling my home. My wife and I have moved into our forever home, we finally closed on it and we’re in. We’ve been so busy, but it’s a good kind of busy. I’ve been piddling out in the yard, cleaning up and working on a late-summer/fall garden, arranging things the way we want them in the house. It just feels good!

The scary part though? I’ve never in my entire life been this happy and content. There’s something lurking around in the back of my mind whispering “where’s the catch?” because this feeling is completely unfamiliar. I’m not saying I’ve never been happy before. I’m just saying I’ve never been this happy. And that unfamiliar-ness in a weird way has me bracing for some disaster. But I’m not letting it ruin this joy I feel. I’m not giving that voice any power over this amazing time in my life.

I’m soaking it all in. If somebody had told me just seven years ago that my life would be like this, that I’d not only be clean and sober, but literally living my lifelong dream I wouldn’t have believed them and I probably would have laughed in their face.

So if this finds somebody out there who’s struggling or who believes life can never get better, please don’t give up hope. You really never know where your path leads. Your story isn’t finished yet as long as you don’t give up or give in.

Amituofo
~Buck