Whispering Wyrd

Today is a beautiful day here in Santa Fe! The ravens are flying, talking to each other as they ride invisible currents in the air. Other birds are singing their songs, the finches, bluebirds, and robins, all busy doing what they do. It’s mostly sunny so no clouds interrupting the wide open view of the mountains.

It’s one of those days when you step outside and it just hits you… how very fortunate I am to witness such stunning beauty.

It’s also one of those days when I realize just how amazing it is to experience all of this completely free of substances. One of those days when I can say, without any hesitation, that all the pain and suffering of coming off benzos was worth it.

My aspen bonsai has fresh spring leaves. The pines and junipers are pushing out new green growth, telling me they made it through the winter just fine. I love this time of year. Trees and flowering shrubs exploding with life and color. It feels like the Earth itself is reminding us there is still beauty here. Even now with everything going on in the human world.

And that’s the strange, sometimes uncomfortable truth I find myself thinking of today, how peace and suffering can exist at the same time. Because while I’m standing in sunlight, breathing clean mountain air, there are people in other parts of the world who are not safe at all. People living in a fear most of us will never know. People just trying to survive another day in the middle of war.

Children who don’t understand what’s happening, only the sound of explosions, the sight of fire, the feeling of sheer terror. That reality doesn’t disappear just because my own day is beautiful. But neither does this beauty disappear because suffering exists. Both are here.

And I now I think part of living fully, part of waking up, is learning how to acknowledge both without turning away from either one. To let gratitude be here without guilt. To let compassion be here without losing my footing.

So today, I stand here grateful to be alive, grateful for the peace around me, and grateful for my family. I have no fight with anyone, and I don’t want one. What I do have are moments like this… the sights, sounds, and even simple smells that bring me a kind of peace I never knew was possible when I was drinking or taking benzos.

It reminds me of something Thich Nhat Hanh famously said, “The miracle is not to walk on water. The miracle is to walk on the green earth, dwelling deeply in the present moment and feeling truly alive.” He knew war, his country was ravaged by years of war. Yet he also knew peace and touched the lives of countless others spreading his message of peace.

Today I feel that. Wherever you are today, I wish you peace, good health, and happiness.

Amituofo
~Buck