Whispering Wyrd

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Welcome to My Small Corner of the Web

Welcome to My Small Corner of the Web

Hello and welcome!
This is the first post on my new blog, a fresh beginning.

For many years, I wrote at breakingmyteeth.com, where I wrote about my long, difficult journey of tapering off high-dose benzodiazepines after more than two decades of use. I’ll soon be reposting those earlier writings here in a special section for anyone who might need them.

For those who don’t know, benzodiazepines are one of only two substances that can be fatal if stopped abruptly or too quickly, the other being alcohol. I took my last dose on January 16, 2025, and I’ve been free ever since.

Finding My Way Back to Life

Now that the fog has lifted, I’m continually surprised by how good life truly is. After so many years trapped in a chemically induced haze where anger and despair ruled, I can once again be moved to tears by the beauty of a sunset, a mountain forest walk, or a single bird perched against the evening sky.

These are small miracles, things I couldn’t feel while on benzos, and they now shimmer with sacred meaning.

A Living, Breathing World

My worldview has become deeply animist.
  I sense spirit in all things:
  in the ravens I love so much,
  behind a dog’s eyes,
  within the mountains and rivers,
  and even in the storms that roll across the horizon.

Consciousness, or Spirit, moves through everything. Perhaps I felt this long ago, even before benzos, but now that I’m free from all substances, for the first time since seventh grade, the feeling is clearer, more radiant, and more real than ever.

The Purpose of This Blog

At nearly sixty years old, I’m learning what it truly means to live.
  My purpose in writing is twofold:

  1. To document my journey — from hopelessness to healing and happiness.
  2. To help others who may still be finding their way through the dark.

Getting off benzos was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I still experience occasional “waves”, brief returns of withdrawal symptoms, but they grow weaker, shorter, and farther apart as time passes. The road is not easy, yet the life beyond it is more beautiful than words can describe.

A Closing Blessing

Thank you for visiting, for reading, and for walking a few steps of this path with me.

May you be well.
May you be happy.
May you know peace.

Buck

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2 responses to “Welcome to My Small Corner of the Web”

  1. gardenerreallyc0b648bbe7 Avatar
    gardenerreallyc0b648bbe7

    Yes I’m currently fighting my way tapering off benzos. My problem other than the obvious is I also have a lot of health issues ones that didn’t flare up until I became addicted. I didn’t have a isse until I was tapered off to .5 mg a day of Klonopin 3 days in my hell started. Nightmares well sometimes idk if they where a dream or did I actually Astro project into a different reality. My dad been gone going on 4 yrs and these dreams of him are back at our house where we grew up and slowly now they are on the house we lived at when we lived on bob little rd for 12 years. At first the dream I’m telling dad I’m not from that time and he tells me I’m crazy. I’m in this dream for so long I really couldn’t tell which was real or not. Now after being with him threw serval visits he knows he’s dead and so do I and we both know what is going on and in my last visit we are driving down the road in his jeep and I look over at him and say I really think it’s neat how I get to come see you like this. That’s the last one I had and it was every night for weeks coming off Klonopin but that wasn’t the bad part
    What started as a ear ache maybe sinus infection turned into the worst thing I’ve been through and that is trigeminal neuropathy. Omg you talk about taking over your life bc the pain is unbearable and it strikes whenever for however long u don’t know. This is my problem now when I don’t have benzos. It’s one thing to have mental issues but mix that with psychical and it’s a whole other ball game

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    1. Buck Avatar
      Buck

      I’m really sorry you’re going through that! Benzo withdrawal is the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my almost 60 years of life. It incredible (in a bad way) what the withdrawal does to the nervous system, the mind, and the heart. Toward the end of my taper I developed a heart rhythm disorder (multifocal PVCs) that still flares up. It’s terrifying.

      I wish you the very best, you are a WARRIOR! Keep that in mind. Anyone who does this (tapering) is a warrior. It is a difficult path, but well worth it. I know it probably doesn’t seem like it now, but it is worth it to get off them.

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