Whispering Wyrd

Actor Eric Dane recently died at 53. I didn’t know much about him beyond the fact that he had ALS, but I saw part of a video he recorded for his family. In it he told them something simple but very powerful…

“Live now.”

Don’t wait. Don’t assume you’ll have time later. Live now. That message hit me hard.

Life has a way of keeping us busy. Responsibilities, fatigue, stress, doctor appointments, bills, errands, the endless “I’ll get to it when things slow down.” We tell ourselves things like, When I have more time, when I feel better, when I’m not so tired or when things calm down. But things rarely calm down on their own that much.

None of us are guaranteed another minute. That’s not meant to be morbid, it’s meant to be clarifying. We all know people who went to bed expecting tomorrow and didn’t wake up to see it. We know people whose health changed in a single visit to a doctor. It doesn’t even have to be death, sometimes it’s a diagnosis that rearranges everything.

When I was diagnosed with diabetes, I was shocked. I’m not overweight. No first degree relatives have it. But there it was. I remember the fear and the anger. The “Why?”

Then came getting clean. I knew it would be hard. But I didn’t know it would nearly break me. Benzo withdrawal changed my nervous system. Multifocal PVCs became part of my daily life. My body feels different than it used to. Some days are harder than others.

And yet… Here I am. Alive. Breathing. Walking under New Mexico skies and watching ravens ride the wind.

Laughing with my wife. Video chatting with my granddaughter. Writing these words.

That’s the shift.

Living isn’t about waiting until everything is perfect. If I waited until my body felt 25 again, I might never start. If I waited until anxiety was completely gone, I might never step outside. If I waited until life felt predictable, I might never do anything at all.

Living is doing the thing anyway, within reason, within wisdom, but without postponing joy indefinitely.

So whatever that thing is for you… What have you been putting off?

Is it a trip? A conversation? A creative project? Starting over in some small way? Taking a class? Calling someone? Watching a sunrise instead of scrolling your phone?

If you can’t do the whole thing today, can you take one small step toward it? Make the plan. Buy the ticket. Start the outline. Take the walk. Say the words.

We don’t need a terminal diagnosis like Eric Dane to gain clarity. We don’t need a catastrophe to wake up. We can choose to live now.

Not recklessly, not fearfully. But intentionally.

I’m heading out now to chase one of my dreams, not because everything in my life is perfect, but because it isn’t. And that’s exactly why now matters.

Amituofo
~Buck