Whispering Wyrd

I absolutely trust mine. They’ve saved my life more than once.

There have been times when I had no logical reason to feel the way I did, yet something in me knew. One of the earliest and clearest examples was when I suspected I had diabetes. I wasn’t overweight. I had no family history. None of the “risk factors” applied to me, but I felt it in my bones. When I finally got tested, my blood glucose was around 300 at diagnosis, despite having only very mild symptoms. My instinct had been right.

My instincts were also sharp during the years I spent in addiction, both mine and the environments that came with it. When I was on benzos, and alcohol before that, I found myself around some deeply “unsavory” people. Somehow, I always knew when someone was about to “get got,” even when the attacker was pretending to be friendly right up to the moment violence erupted. I still can’t explain how I sensed it, but the feeling was unmistakable. And every time, it was correct.

Those same instincts have guided me through healing. Doctors have offered me medications to ease withdrawal symptoms, but something in me always said “no.” I didn’t want to trade one set of chains for another. Later, when I checked interactions online, I learned that some of those prescriptions would have clashed dangerously with the heart medications I’m already on. I’ve learned to treat prescriptions, and prescribers, with caution.

I’ve also learned to be wary of clergy. Some of the worst advice I’ve ever been given came from religious leaders who meant well but lived such sheltered lives that they had no understanding of the world I once moved through. I don’t adhere to any religion, but most of my family and extended family do. Their guidance was not only unhelpful, it was, at times, genuinely dangerous.

So yes, I trust my instincts. Completely. And I believe others should trust theirs, too. Even if you can’t logically explain why something feels wrong, that sense alone is reason enough to step back. And when something feels unquestionably right, good, or healing for you, trust that, too. Our instincts are often wiser than we give them credit for.

~Buck