Category: Healing
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How late is too late to work on oneself? When is it too late to become a better person, not just toward others, but toward yourself as well? At almost 60 years old, clean and sober now, I don’t feel that it’s too late at all. I do wish I had started sooner, a lot…
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Yesterday marked one year since my last benzodiazepine. For so long, this date was a horizon I wasn’t sure I’d ever reach. A promise, a fear, a measuring stick. I waited with hope, dread, and exhaustion. Now it has come and gone. What I find is not fireworks or finality, but a quiet, surprising spaciousness…
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One year off benzos today. Honestly, I didn’t think I would ever see this day. I was told, flat out, by doctors and pharmacists that I wouldn’t. That after more than twenty years, at high doses, this drug would always own a part of my life. Yet here I am. This has been the most…
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How do you describe how badly something hurt you? How do you put into words something that didn’t just wound you, but rearranged your life and your body from the inside out? I’ve tried, over and over, to describe what benzodiazepine withdrawal does to a human being. I can give people pieces of it. I…
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A couple of evenings ago,after a day and night of snowfall,we went out for food at one of our favorite places.When we came back outside,the sky looked like it had caught fire. New Mexico sunsets are always beautiful,but this one felt… alive.Pink and gold poured across the clouds,as if the mountains themselves were breathing light.I…
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One of the many things I’ve noticed about myself since coming off benzodiazepines is how sensitive my heart has become, not just physically, but emotionally as well. Information, strong emotions, even what I read or witness online can now have a very real impact on my body. I’ve written before about how benzo withdrawal has…
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In the past, I made New Year’s resolutions and almost always failed at them. Looking back, it’s clear why… most of them were unrealistic and disconnected from the realities of my life at the time. Eventually, I stopped making resolutions altogether. This year is different. This year, I’ve made resolutions I know I can keep…
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This is a response to some of the messages I’ve received regarding my last post. I didn’t write that post to offend anyone. It was written to reflect on something I find deeply troubling… the fact that a simple call for peace can provoke anger and hostility. When peace itself becomes offensive, it’s worth pausing…
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In sixteen days, it will be one year since I took my last benzodiazepine.One year free. One year since my last and final pill. For so long, I was told by doctors and pharmacists that I would never be able to stop. That the doses were too high. That the length of use was too…
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I want to share something small but surprisingly powerful that’s been helping me lately. A few nights ago, while talking with our neighbors, I noticed their home was filled with soft pink light. It wasn’t bright or flashy. It was gentle. Warm. Calm. I felt my body relax almost immediately, in a way that caught…
Whispering Wyrd 